Post and Scream

One of my favorite things, (Oprah moment), is postcards. There is something special about opening the mailbox to a 4X6 snapshot of a friend’s vacation. Although…. I’ve noticed a common thread among Disney and like theme park trips:

Card from child = Smiley faces, happy, crayon filled print - “I love it here!”

Card from parent = Chicken scratch, red ink, heavy explanation points, tear stains – “Get me the BLEEP out of here! Happiest place on Earth my big, fat BLEEP.”

As of late, the postcards seem to have taken a turn from vacation to vaccination. In fact, last week I received three very unpleasant missives:

“KATHRYN (mail merge), we miss you! Call today for an appointment! Any Town OB/GYN - Now offering Laser Hair Removal."

I doubt the “miss you” sincerity, but the hair removal has appeal – summer’s coming!

Booked.

“MAGGIE (again with the mail merge) is due for her RABIES SHOT & HEARTWORM TEST. Call today – free nail clip with appointment.”

Aside from hand delivering a bag of Mag’s poop - she could use a little mani-pedi.

Booked.

“Dear KATHRYN: Politician XYZ invites you to join him this Saturday, (DATE), for an informative lecture on the value of recycling. Refreshments will be served." (Picture of PLASTIC water bottles & cupcakes.)

Um…high gloss stock, 4 color, NOT on recycled paper. Ever hear of EMAIL, Politician XYZ? No carbon footprint! (Confession: the cupcakes looked REALLY good – but still, no.)

Shred.

That last one left me feeling a bit like a go-green hypocrite, given my love the postcard and all, but the irony killed me.  Off to the mailbox, maybe today I’ll get a card from the termite guy – I bet he misses me, too.