Wisdom from the NJ Turnpike

I’m baaaaack! And not only was our family vacation a rousing success, but I picked up some valuable travel tools I’d like to share. Let’s do this in Top 10 style!

1. Before leaving outlaw any version of Punch Buggy; hand to hand combat should never be a travel game.
2. Jet skis: If you ride with a friend, make sure that friend knows the difference between fun on the water and unexpected enema; wake and backsplash can be brutal.
3. Bungee cords: Good for luggage racks and binding feuding siblings to their respective car seats.
4. TUMS: Five words – New Jersey Rest Stop food.
5. Donuts: Must be consumed on every vacation! Local Mom & Pop bakeries are the best. Duck Donuts, NC – I love you! If it were legal to marry a donut – I would be Mrs. Maple Glazed.
6. Beach Bathrooms: Hold it – you’ll thank me.
7. Sea Shells: Smell 6 hours into a 14 hour ride; think Ziploc.
8. Farm Stands: STOP! Local produce is the absolute best part of road trips! Stock up.
9. Pets: If Fido is coming along – DO NOT let your children slip him/her a chicken nugget from above mentioned Rest Stop; Labrador flatulence has a long shelf life.
10. Baby Wipes: Even if you do not have little ones anymore, from car messes to sand in “bad” places – they do the trick! 

Happy summer! Stay safe, make memories and always have a chilled Pinot in the fridge!