Friday, October 21, 2011

Catcher on the Fly

During October, my assignment desk takes on an eerie, landfill quality; mounds of Harvest Fests, Halloween happenings and local sports all screeching for equal coverage. I’ve tried covering my ears, but they yell louder, offering tempting edible spiffs in hopes of enticing my interest.

“Please cover our Homecoming game! We’ll give you free coffee and hot dogs at half time!”

Gratis weenies and unlimited caffeine aside, there’s a problem – I’m ONE person.

Embroiled in an ongoing scheduling fracas between home and work, balance becomes a challenge. I do my best, but chaos happens, news breaks, kids vomit; I adapt, all parents do. And with the help of a handy-dandy e-gadget, life goes on.

Here’s a snippet.

(Dinner table – Casa Babbler)

Thing One: “Mom, are you working tonight?”
Me: “Yes.” (Soccer game, temp below 40, good times.)
Thing One: “Can I use your laptop while you’re gone?”
Me. “Yes, but no You Tube; it gave me a virus.” (Call tech support.)
Thing One: “And I need poster board for Monday.”
Me: “I’ll get one tomorrow morning.” (On route from dentist to work.)

Thing Two: “Can we get my costume soon?”
Me: “What do you want to be this year?” (Thing Two = only family member T-or-T age appropriate.)
Thing Two: “A scary guy with a gun and mustache who jumps out and grabs kids at the door.”
Me: (Thing Two’s Halloween aspirations: creepy guy Chris Hansen nabs on Dateline. Adjust schedule for less jail sentiency costume shop.) “Tell you what, we can go after school, before golf, and how about a Ninja costume?” (Does Chris Hansen bag Ninjas?)
Thing Two: “Sick!”

Me: (Review tomorrow on e-gadget: Tech support, dentist, poster board, 3 assignments in 3 towns, costume shop, golf practice, use restroom at least once, eat food not obtained at drive-thru, breathe and write 1000 words on WIP.)

Hubby: “Don’t we have the basement guy coming tomorrow?”
Me: (Crap!)
Hubby: (Smile) “Is your head going to explode?”
Me: (He knows me well.) “Not yet.”
Hubby: “That’s going to change.”
Me: (Panic) “Why?”
Hubby: (Bigger smile.) “Did I tell you I’m away on business all next week?”


Don’t get me wrong, I love my life, and I’m lucky to have a HWH (Hubby-Who-Helps). But there’s a reason the Halloween candy never quite makes it to the 31st in our house, I’m a stress eater!

Fess up cyber pals, who out there among you is on the verge of cerebellum wallpaper?
(Side Note: Steve, you owe me a buck! Fracas can be utilized in everyday language!)


Jennifer Wilck said...

OMG, sounds exactly like my house (except with 2 girls, we usually have some sort of laundry crisis)! Love the "cerebellum wallpaper." Well, as long as it's not real :)

Chris C said...

Yup, same here. Except add 17 y/o with a license wanting to borrow the car. While it is nice she can run errands, more often than not she wants the car when Deb needs it, actually REDUCING the amount of stuff we can get done.

Judy said...

Me too. I ate the whole first bag of Halloween candy, and the second is in danger. But such is life - and as you so often remind me, for all our woes, we are still blessed beyond imagining. So scrape those brain cells off the wall, have a Merlot and a Snickers, and smile at the good fortune of having a job, a family, and really wonderful blog!!!!!!!!!!!

Donna K. Weaver said...

I'm so feeling the same way. And it doesn't help that NaNo starts a week from Tuesday. Ack!

Abby said...

Cerebellum wallpaper may just be the coolest new phrase I have ever heard and I find my house plastered with it often (thanks to me) I just never knew what to call it. lol

Sounds like things are HECTIC! Best of luck. Tell hubby that he owes you a getaway at the spa when he returns. You deserve it!

Mindy McGinnis said...

Well, look at it this way - the stress may be aging you, but all those firing synapses are keeping your brain young :)

Kathryn Elliott said...

Jennifer - my best bud has girls - she also has her therapist on speed dial.

Judy - You are always a boost to my ego! I'll share candy.

Chris - How many years unitl Court drives? :-)

Debbie - I'm not saying the "N" word. The Halloween candy is dangerously low!

Abby - Bet a nifty monkey hat would hold in that pesky cerebellum! LOL

Mindy - At this point, I'm pretty sure my synapses are firing blanks!

Thx for checking in all! Happy Fall!

Kathryn Elliott said...

Oh my gosh - Donna I called you Debbie! Sorry! Just proves my blood sugar's too low - must find Snickers.....

Bethany C. said...

The busier you are, the funnier your posts. I think I might have to add to your chaos by breaking your main water line and abandoning a kitten on your doorstep-whatever it takes to keep you blogging and me laughing! Hee

Kathryn Elliott said...

Aww, thanks Bethany. If I didn't laugh, I'd have a stand by reservation at Betty Ford.