“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!”
NBC Olympic broadcast? Speechless.
No, I’m not going to jump on the peacock bashing bandwagon - that’s been done, and done well.
Instead I’m taking the high road, pitching five ways NBC can yank their Decathlon of Disaster out of the toilet before the six remaining viewers switch to Matlock.
Mute Seacrest: He’s pretty, not prolific. Ironclad contracts REQUIRE his participation, but why not strip away the microphone and get interactive: Spy Seacrest! A Where’sWaldo version of the Olympic Games – swap out the striped hat and turtleneck for a bathing cap and Speedo and pop Ryan in crowd shots for fans to find. Imagine the closing ceremonies? Bonus points for the Royal box!
Lauer - Costas Cage Fight: Come on – you know you want to see it? Vegas bookies have been itching for this one for years!
Whack-a-Daggett: Every time Tim Daggett says "crazy hard" - Schlegel clubs him with a foam mallet. The man needs a thesaurus.
Roker Relay: Exchange the shameless sitcom plugs with something we REALLY want to see! Al in a pair of slim-fit, kielbasa-like bike shorts puffing his way through London! You go Al!
Ryan Lochte: Shirtless. All Day. All Night. No exceptions. Enough said.