Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Pollen: Public Enemy!

This is my final rant at Mother Nature. OK, that’s a crock, and you all know it, but it has to be said, the allergies this season – nightmare! And it’s all her fault; flower crown wearing freak! I’d like to know what’s got her toga in a twist – did Father Time stand her up on date night? Baby New Year cutting a tooth? What!!!!
OK, I’m better now, I find it helpful to blame excessive pollen counts on fictitious characters over global warming. I’m sure this upsets Al Gore, but he never RSVP’ed to my last BBQ, so he can suck it!
You’ll have to pardon the potty mouth; it’s been a long week. (Yes, it’s only Wednesday.) Between the coughs, sneezes and general mucus oozing, sleep has been scarce in our house, leaving us all crabby, even the dog.
A big believer in natural remedies, I tried a friends suggestion and gave my kids a teaspoon of locally grown honey each morning. Know what I got; runny noses, sneezing AND a sugar high.
I can’t win.
Drugs – I’m going with drugs. Big, strong, knock you on your butt drugs. I may be drowsy, I may not be able to operate heavy machinery or drink alcohol – but I have no immediate plans to take a drunken nap while plowing a corn field  - so drugs it is!

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